Posted by: katlea611 | June 15, 2014

Hope for Ethan. And my Boys.

I can’t believe my boy is 11.  Time sure flies so fast.  I would prefer my boys to stay babies forever.  If only I could.  But since that’s not possible, I just want what’s best for them.  

Parenting and teaching Ethan is a challenge.  It’s tedious and takes a lot of preparation, research and effort.  But whenever he understands a lesson, or when he answers his math drills correctly, it warms my heart.  And I feel very proud of his efforts.  When he answers from memory, it makes me hopeful.  I know he will never be the smart kid.  He still gets confused when asked “What is your name” and “How old are you” and mixes his answers up.  But despite that, Ethan is a loving, affectionate and happy kid.  Truly, all I want for my boy is to be happy.  I want him to be functional enough to survive the world.  I know he could never be a CEO or a great lawyer.  But it’s still possible for him to be Employee of the Month.  My goal with Ethan is to be able to help him grow and be a part of society.  I want him to be independent without having to worry about him and how he’ll survive.  I know, with the right tools and with the right support, all these are possible.  I know that I should be confident in him and trust that he WILL learn and will grow as God means him to be.  Am I scared?  Of course I am!  I’m a mom.  I will forever be afraid for my boys.  But I also have to learn to let them go a little at a time to prepare them for the world and for our eventual separation.  I know people say, “It’s much too early to think that way” but you never know how life is.  One day you’re here and the next gone.  And when I’m gone, which I am praying will hopefully not happen soon, I want my boys to be ready and prepared.  I want them to be able to survive and to have the necessary tools to exist in the world.  And I want them to know that no matter what they do in life, be it a successful career or as a traveling wanderer, I just want them to be happy, to live life to the fullest, and to follow their dreams. 

I love you my boys.  Always and forever.

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